ricesa on November 17th, 2008

Once upon a time in China , there lived a happy couple, Mr. & Mrs.Chan with their 3 lovely daughters; Elaine, Ena & Ella. The 3 daughters were brought up in a prim-and-proper way and when they reached 20, they were still virgins.

Years passed, and it was time to get them married. So, the parents found them the most suitable “leng chais”  (handsome guys). They got married and were preparing to set-off on
their honeymoon. Read the rest of this entry »

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ricesa on November 10th, 2008

It was Friday morning, and that meant it was time for an activity that the teacher called ‘add to the picture’. The teacher would call students to the chalkboard one at a time. The first student would draw an object on the chalkboard, and each following student would add something to the picture to make it a new picture.

The teacher called on James to start things off.

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James returned to his seat.
The teacher called on Ernie next.
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Ernie returned to his seat.
Now it was Suzy’s turn.
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Suzy returned to her seat.
Next, the teacher called Jerry to the board.
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Jerry returned to his seat.  Kim was called to the board.
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Kim returned to her seat.

About this time, little Johnny began waving his arm hysterically.  Little Johnny was well known for being off center, so the teacher was reluctant to call on him for anything.  But as the teacher looked at the picture on the chalkboard, she thought that there was no way that little Johnny could possibly do anything to make this picture dirty.  So she called on little Johnny, and he ran to the chalkboard.

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The entire class erupted with laughter… the teacher fainted.

Little Johnny had done it again.

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ricesa on November 4th, 2008


This would give you guides on how to control your emotions towards your
better-half, friends, officemates and all the people around you, . The rules of practicing “ ugaling langit, ugaling kaaya-aya” :

#1 Ang naunang magalit ang may karapatang magalit. Pag naunahan ka na ng galit niya, tumahimik ka na lang muna. 17de309.gif

#2 Walang taong nag-aaway mag-isa. Pag hindi kayo sumagot o pumatol, titigil din daw ang taong nakikipag- away sa inyo. 17de313.gif
Read the rest of this entry »

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ricesa on October 29th, 2008
  1. “Dead Man’s Chest” = “Dodo ng Patay”
  2. “Never Been Kissed” = “Pangit Kasi”
  3. “Lord of the Rings” = “Panginoon Pawnshop”
  4. “8mm.” = “Ang Sa Asawa Ko”
  5. There’s Something About Mary” = “May Tulo Si Maria”
  6. “The Constant Gardener” = “Ang Kabit Ni Ma’am”
  7. Memoirs of a Geisha” = “Naalala Niyang Gay Siya”
  8. “Romeo & Juliet” = “Si Romeo, Kapag Gabi, Juliet”
  9. Close Encounters Of The Third Kind” = “Natikman Na Ng Bading”
  10. “Elf” = “Ang Pangulo”
  11. “Big Fish” = “Tilapia ni Trining”
  12. “Reality Bites” = “Pag Pangit, Pangit!” Read the rest of this entry »

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ricesa on October 12th, 2008

“The aim of policy making is to invoke action! Because action speaks louder than words! You do not just say I love you. You say: If you love me, enter me! ”
- Dr. Alfonso Pacquing

“Class, next week na lang ung result sa exam nyo. I am having a hard time checking it. I will seek first the divine guidance on what to do about it. Class dont worry about your grade. Let me worry about it.”
- Sir de jesus, envi sci 1

(valentines day)
“Ano ba yan? Students ba kayo ng UP? Bakit ang bababa ng scores niyo? Siguro wala kayong date ngayong valentines kaya ganito kayo. Losers!!!  When i was your age i had a date. Hindi ba naapektuhan ng UP FAIR
euphoria ng grades niyo? Parang di kayo masaya…” (sabay matching tapon ng quizzes sa sahig)
“I won’t record this. Go find a date.” (sabay walk out.)
- Sir Doliente, BA Read the rest of this entry »

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ricesa on July 25th, 2008

Everyone has their share of bad or unforgettable experiences. And I for one had one of them, with the emergency exits of a certain building. But no, this has nothing to do with those zombies chasing after me, or like those Japanese-inspired horror flicks where a long-haired, untidy with blood-shot eyes woman trying to eat my heart out. This is more realistic! Read the rest of this entry »

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ricesa on July 23rd, 2008

Recently registered names of chinese babies born in the Philippines .

born during the night - Andy Lim

born blind - Kenneth Sy

born being swindled -Lino Co

born while cooking - Nilo Toh

born as 10th child - Sam Po Read the rest of this entry »

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ricesa on July 23rd, 2008

This story happened a few months ago along the Tagaytay Road. There was a guy who got left behind by a pack of mountain bikers. The group was large and he didn’t bring a cellphone. He crashed his bike somewhere between Picnic Grove and DBP.

To make things worse, a storm came in. So he walked. This guy was on the side of the road hitch-hiking on a very dark night in the middle of a storm. The night passed slowly and no cars went by. The storm was so strong he could hardly see a few meters ahead of him. Read the rest of this entry »

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ricesa on July 21st, 2008

“Pinapaikot mo lang ako
Nagsasawa na ako. Mabuti pang
patayin mo na lang ako”
-electric fan

“hindi lahat ng walang salawal
ay bastos”
-winnie d’ pooh
Read the rest of this entry »

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ricesa on July 20th, 2008

ANG NAKARAAN….

May ibinulong ang daga sa elepante. Biglang hinimatay ang elepante.
Ano ang ibinulong ng daga?

DAGA: Buntis ako, ikaw ang ama!

SA PAGPAPATULOY…. Read the rest of this entry »

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